Happy Mother’s Day – to Me

Does it sound selfish?

I’m justified 😊

I carried four human beings 🙆‍♂️ 🤰

Experienced everything that goes with it…

The nausea, the cravings, the emotions… 😷😋😥

The expectations, the fears, the love, the longing, anxiety😨❤🤗😬

It can be a roller coaster ⛷🤸‍♀️

I could fill four books with briefs of their birth stories

The first labour hit at midnight.

I couldn’t sit still. My back hurt like hell 😩

At the hospital, I paced up and down.

They gave me a lounge. A whole lounge to myself & my husband 💑

It wasn’t enough

I kicked my slippers off. As light as they were, they were heavy on my feet in that moment 👡👡

He couldn’t believe that I took off my slippers in a foreign place!🦶

Well, neither could I. I was that fussy 😂

Morning came 🌅

I couldn’t eat, they forced me to take a few sips of juice 🥤

I couldn’t pee, the nurses were so good to me 🤗

This is the famous University Teaching Hospital, UTH.

I’d heard stories of pregnant women being treated badly.

Mum came. I cried. She always does that to me. I love her ❤❤

Around 15, the back pain was unbearable! I prayed 🙏

And thought… if I could just think Back on all the good loving, I’d forget the pain.

No chance, damn!!

A good nurse came, helped me lay down. It was time 👩‍⚕️

She talked to me, comforted me, made jokes and the baby came🤱

He was beautiful. I love him 🥰

I was exhausted and wanted very hot tea with whole milk ☕ 😂

I refused to bath because I couldn’t do it in that foreign place 🛀

I was discharged in the morning.

Second, third and fourth were fairly quick births.

I’m forever grateful to God.

So,

And to all the good women out there.

●○°•V♡

Keep in touch

(Third and final in A series of short poems I wrote a long time ago).

Keep in touch, because I miss you so

Your friendship is important to ME

And I hope that you AGREE

Remember to call or WRITE

So our friendship stays TIGHT

Because your friendship I VALUE

I’ll try to stay true

In all we PURSUE

●○°•V♡

A fRiEnD liKe yoU

(Second in A series of short poems I wrote a long time ago).

—– oo —–

A friend like you
Is too good to be true
The time we have shared
No one could compare
The lessons we learned
From the chances we burned
The memories we made
Those will never fade
Our friendship can only grow stronger
And the years hopefully longer
I just wanted you to know
That I cherish you so

—– oo —–

●○°•V♡

Life Shocks

This imperfect life requires one to install shocks

to absorb the bumps of life’s turbulence…

Shocks for a failed happily ever after
So that you don’t end up in an asylum
behind bars
or six feet under

Shocks for being laid off work
even after your excellent performance
So that you don’t end up in an asylum
behind bars
or six feet under

Shocks for being stabbed in the back
By your closest and trusted confidant
Your best friend
So that you don’t end up in an asylum
behind bars
or six feet under

Shocks for an injustice carried out by your own kind
So that you don’t end up in an asylum
behind bars
or six feet under

Shocks for losing all the wealth you had
by circumstance or your own stupidity
So that you don’t end up in an asylum
behind bars
or six feet under

Shocks for time and chance
that befall us all
So that you don’t end up in an asylum
behind bars
or six feet under

●○°•V♡

Superiority of the Seasons

The sun has no superiority over the rainy season, the same way the cold has no hold over the summer.

The rainy season
It doesn’t play. When the sun tries to shine, the grey clouds quickly appear
Casting a dark cloud over the horizon
Rain quickly pours, extinguishing any chance there ever was of the sun’s warmth.

The clouds gather and thunder roars.
Lightning cutting across the sky leaving a trail of blazing light that no fireworks could match.

Then comes Winter
The cold is lethal. It stings and hurts. Deep in the bones.
Should the Sun’s rays attempt to break through, the grey clouds quickly rush to formation,
Vanquishing any rays that may have escaped it’s grip.

Should the rays stand firm and break through, they’re left devoid of any heat to warm the earth.
Its strength is made visible in the heavily clad humans, with layers upon layers of clothing
And heaters ablaze wherever they be gathered.

Here comes the Sun
In summer, the sun reigns supreme.

It’s power can be seen in the melting of the ice cream, and the constant need to rehydrate one’s body.
The sweat that drips from one’s face and neck,
The urgent need to sit under the shed and cool off,
To keep that aircon on in the car and sit under the fan in the house.

Yes, the power of the sun is made manifest in the urge to take a dive in the pool,
Put on a vest and shorts in the scorching heat.

The rain and the cold stand no chance against the heat.
Should some rain drops escape the sun and fall to the earth, they’re evaporated as soon as they hit the ground.

Each season gives its best, its whole and full measure. A little lesson to mankind.

●○°•V♡

Tears

Tears and more tears

Tears clean your eyes to see clearer

They cleanse your heart to beat better

They take away the ache and pain of those who hurt

They clear the brain of those clouded by emotions of love and hate

Of despair and anguish

They never run dry until they accomplish

And like a river endlessly flowing

They will only stop when their job is done.

Cry on until you heal

Happy Women’s Day

9 March 2019

11:58

Sitting in a random chair, in a random place, waiting for a not so random person.

My thoughts drift…. to random musings about a woman.

A seemingly complex being.. could be, it’s all in the hormones 😂
Labeled a descendant of Mars, or a neanderthal being.. She’s non of that
She’s a ball of emotions, and oftentimes scars.. I cry for this one

Hidden in well crafted make up and hairstyle.. you don’t have to hide
She can be aggressive and talkative… can’t deal
Or gentle and mild tempered.. She’s awesome

She’s as interesting as she’s amazing… I agree

I’ve seen her have her self esteem stripped… my heart broke

Her happiness eroded and her pride extinguished… I’m sorry I couldn’t help

Yet she smiles to the world, a facade she wears along with her clothes.. she will heal

I love me some women

Tall or short, or medium height

Slender or voluptuous, but mostly voluptuous 😉

Light or dark, short or long hair, but mostly long 😁

I love women for various reasons:

She’s good looking 😍 its subjective

She’s a good mother, or sister or aunt, no two ways about it

She’s a good friend, genuine and sincere… I can read that

She’s a beloved loving wife, girlfriend or fiancée, not debatable

She’s got a good heart; kind and friendly and smart… we can all learn to be

For all its worth, Happy Women’s Day to the good woman.

I am Me

Friday, 11 May 2018. I spent a few minutes making conversation with the receptionist as we did the formalities, being an introvert and not wanting to be seen as anti social. It’s become easier the older I get. A quick glance at the number of people seated in the waiting room made me consider rescheduling. The nurses said to hang on.

I sat in the hospital waiting room to see the specialist doctor, arriving a few minutes before my appointment at 2pm. After a quick chat with a friend who came in earlier than me, I found myself a seat in the corner. I had already been warned that even with an appointment, it was first come first served, but I did not realise how last I would be until the third patient took forever to come out from the doctor’s office. The pattern continued as the clock wound up. That clock.

It then occurred to me that I’d be there for a long time. I might as well make myself comfortable.

Comfort. The cold metal seat was not kind to my not-so-fleshy self, but I found distraction in my phone – reading blogs and playing games, occasionally attending to calls, WhatsApp and text messages.

It was already 4pm and the number of people, mostly ladies, was still quite a lot. I’d thought about rescheduling my appointment the moment I arrived but since I was already there, I might as well stick around.

With my phone battery at 10%, I decided to save power by engaging in some writing. I had a pen quite alright, but paper? I searched my bag and found a payslip. Good enough.

I glanced at the wall clock for the umpteenth time. It wasn’t so much the time that bothered me. It was the angle at which the clock hang that didn’t sit well with me.

I’m not perfect. I just like a level of perfection.

Through my four and half hours of sitting there, I’d glanced up a million times, wishing someone could straighten the wall clock. I felt like getting up several times to do it myself. I had the same urge I get when I walk into a room and see a clock that’s not working. I feel the urge to change the battery.

I was so distressed about the clock that the only thing stopping me from getting up to put it straight was the fear that it might fall off the wall. I was already paying through my nose for consultation and whatever lab tests lay in store.

Let me just disclaim that I don’t have OCD.

I probably just have strong feelings to put things right. Explains why I can’t stand chipped nail polish. How about removing it or putting a fresh coat. I do get chipped nails and I’m flustered half the time. I can’t eat till I clean; I clean the stove as I cook; I can’t stand tooth picks! Just floss as you brush. Don’t lick your finger to open a page. No. I admire those who can sit in an untidy room and not fuss; or those who go to bath at 4pm and can go to the mall with a night hair-sock or unkempt hair.

My restaurant visits are plagued with a prying eye on clean cutlery and crockery. My bed mate often gives me the eye, a wry smile and a shake of the head, but he understands. My nausea is on another level. I’d puke at my own puke, babies puke and animal droppings. I don’t like public toilets.

I love the sun and a well manicured lawn.

I partly blame my mom for being a clean freak. Growing up in her house, we cleaned before all else, and I mean all corners, crooks and crannies. Now I’m careful of door handles, hotel towels and bedding.

18:45. Finally, my name was called. I was the last one. It was dark outside and quiet inside. As I made my way to the doctor’s office, I took one last look at the clock, feeling upset at the angle and the time. 18:46

I did care for that wall clock. I’m not perfect but I love deeply, I care immensely and I’m fiercely loyal.

That should count for something.
On my next appointment in June, I’ll put that clock right.

I am me.

Long Time

School

Exams

Work

They took me away from writing without instruction, an activity I love with all my heart. 

I wrote anyway, just that I was instructed to, was required to do so by my lecturers. 

As I wait to graduate, I’m anxious. Anxious as to how I performed amidst the pressures of life, of being a wife, a mother, an employee, a daughter, a friend:

a wife whose husband demands my time, attention and affection;

a mother whose children require my time, attention and care; 

an employee whose employer demands  my time and dedication; 

a daughter whose parents require some level of attention, to let them know I’m here and I’m well; 

a sister whose siblings demand an ear and a shoulder; 

a friend whose buddies demand my acquaintance and friendship;

Out of love and sometimes out of need, I give, because out of love and sometimes out of need, I receive.

At the end of it all, I go back often times to the giver of life and sustainer of it. Because by my own strength I could not, cannot and will not be able.